


you've got it all figured out (you're still a mess)

by meathermac



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, I don't know what to put here, M/M, dadification of taako taaco, this is @thelowlysatsuma's fault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meathermac/pseuds/meathermac
Summary: the rules for the apartment complex clearly say no pets. however, ten-year-old boys don't count as pets, so they're not technically breaking any rules.also, magnus brought a dog to the apartment a year ago, so they weren't following them anyway.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Julia Burnsides/Magnus Burnsides, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 93
Kudos: 196





	1. put on that nice suit, put on that dress

**Author's Note:**

> fuck i can't believe i went through with this. title is from ingrid michaelson and ajr's "lottery"
> 
> as such, taz has taken over my life which is @thelowlysatsuma's fault, fuck you for getting me into this, and here we are. they always say write the fic about taako and angus being a family you want to see in the world. 
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoy this!!

College is for nerds. 

One could argue that since Taako is, in fact, in college, he is a nerd. One would be fucking wrong, but it could be argued. 

Taako Taaco is  _ extremely  _ cool. His fantasy YouTube channel has, like, ten thousand subscribers, and he’s still a straight-A student. Well, gay-A student. There’s a good joke in there somewhere.

He’s got a super annoying roommate who’s also his best friend (though he wouldn’t admit it even if you held a knife to his throat), and objectively, his life is going  _ super well _ right now. 

Well, except for the part where it’s totally not. 

His sister keeps trying to get him to go to therapy or whatever, but therapy is for nerds and people who aren’t fine, and Taako is  _ fine _ , thank you very  _ much _ . 

(Lup disagrees. She thinks that therapy is for everyone and that Taako is not fine. Lup is wrong about things sometimes.)

His life may be bad, but that’s not because of him _ , _ it’s because his classes suck and his Advanced Transmutation teacher hates him and because he hasn’t dated anyone in like,  _ years _ . Both Lup and his roommate, Magnus, try to get him to go out and do things with them, and while Lup is awesome as all hell and Magnus is… fine, he has no desire to go do things with people who are going to just ask him a bunch of questions about how he’s doing. 

Magnus is frustratingly nice, and at some point, Taako’s gonna stop living with him, but they were roommates for freshman year and they share an apartment together now, so that’s probably not gonna happen for a while. He likes to ask Taako when they’re both at home together if Taako had a good day if his classes were fine, and Taako always laughs it off with a “Taako’s good, Maggie” and a smile. 

Lup and Magnus are friends, which is beginning to be a slight problem (re: the asking him to go places and do stuff thing). It’s also really weird because Taako isn’t even sure if he and Magnus are friends, so Lup being actual, good friends with him is strange. 

He said this to Lup once, who replied, “You’ve been fucking living with the guy for almost three years and you don’t think you’re friends? Taako, this is why everyone says I got the beauty  _ and _ the brains.” 

(He tells her that no one says that, and the conversation is over.)

In conclusion, Taako Taaco is very much  _ fine _ and Lup has no idea what she’s talking about. 

“Taako, shut  _ up! _ ” Lup says, slapping him on the shoulder. “Come on, you’re not a fucking supervillain, there’s no need to monologue!” 

He huffs and leans back in the kitchen chair he’s sitting in while Magnus responds, “I thought it was really cool, T!” rather eagerly. 

“Thank you.” He bows and Lup hits him yet again, harder this time. “Anyways,” Taako says pointedly, rubbing his shoulder, “if you didn’t catch my meaning, I’m not going out to drink with you two and Barry and Julia tonight. In fact, I cannot think of anything else I’d rather do.” 

“It’s funny that you think you have a choice.” Lup reaches across Taako, grabbing the nail polish he’s set down next to him. “You’re going. You’ve been avoiding us for too long.” 

Taako rolls his eyes and takes the bottle back from her. “Why? So I can fifth-wheel with you guys? Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but Taako’s good.” 

She makes direct eye contact with him and they have a brief standoff, ending with a dramatic groan from Taako and a loud cheer from Lup. 

“Fine, I’ll go. But I’m not going to enjoy it,” he says, crossing his arms petulantly. 

“I’ll take it.” Lup smiles brightly and stands up, snatching the bottle of nail polish. “See you two at eight tonight!” 

Magnus and Taako are both silent as she leaves, but he turns to Taako and says, “Your sister is scary.” 

He sighs. “I know.” 

When eight rolls around, Taako is still lying splayed out on his bed surrounded by clothes. If he’s going to go out, he’s going to look fabulous while he’s doing it, and his current wardrobe is not doing it for him today.

Magnus knocks on the open door and Taako runs his hand down his face. “Hey, Taako. Lup n’ Barry are gonna be here any minute, and…” 

“No, finish that sentence. What exactly is wrong here, Maggie?” he says, his tone biting. “Give me ten more minutes to find something to wear and then I’ll be ready.”

It takes him thirty minutes, but the outfit he finds is vaguely acceptable. Julia, Magnus’s girlfriend, has been hanging out for a while, but Lup and Barry arrive a minute after Taako joins the other two in the living room. 

“Wow. Thanks for showing up on time, sis,” he scoffs, and Magnus gives him a disappointed glare while Lup just laughs and pats Barry’s arm. 

“Sorry, dear brother, we got a little caught up having--” 

He holds his hands up to his ears and shuts his eyes tight. “Okay, okay, shut up. You’ve barely got me as is; if you start talking about your sex life I’m absolutely staying home.” 

Lup grins. “If you say so.”

Taako allows himself to be dragged out into the downtown area of Neverwinter, and the bars there are loud and crowded, but Magnus pulls them all towards a little one tucked away on the outskirts of downtown called the Davy Lamp where he seems to know everybody and they all seem to know him. The bartender is a friendly young woman named Ren who recognizes Taako from his fantasy YouTube channel and is so starstruck he’s able to spend the rest of the evening chatting with her and ignoring his sister and his friends. 

He lays his head down on the bar, still too sober for all of the dancing and singing going on behind him. He knew that Lup and Barry were off dancing, Julia and Magnus were challenging some other patrons to a drinking game, and since neither of those sounded like particularly great options, he was good sitting right here at the bar.

The Davy Lamp is not a  _ bad _ bar, it’s just a  _ loud  _ one, and while Taako is normally used to loud spaces (hel- _ lo _ , he lives with Magnus) the bar is just too much today. He’s already frustrated with his sister for trying to get him to open up more; he would barely be able to stand someone else asking him how he’s doing. Taako’s  _ good. _

He glances around as he picks his head up off the counter, preparing to leave. Taako vaguely recognizes a few faces--his friend Hurley, who is a detective-in-training (and has come extremely close to arresting Taako in the past), has her arm slung around her girlfriend as she talks to the person setting up a guitar in the corner, and a short girl with fiery red hair and a prosthetic arm and leg he  _ swears _ he knows the name of, to name a few--and realizes with a loud groan that Hurley has seen him and is now waving him over. 

Even though Taako’s brain is screaming at him to pretend like he didn’t see her, he gets up and makes his way through the crowds of people to where she and her girlfriend, Sloane, are standing. As he reaches the little corner of the bar she’s standing in, Hurly throws her arms around him and exclaims, “ _ Taako! _ It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

“It’s been, like, two weeks,” he says, looking over at the person Hurley and Sloane are talking to. He’s the picture of tall, dark, and handsome, exactly Taako’s type, and when Taako catches his eye he smiles shyly and looks away. 

Okay, well, Taako isn’t entirely sure if the dorky guitar player is necessarily his type, but when they make eye contact yet again he shoots him a wink anyway. The other man blushes and Taako chalks up another win in his books. What’s the harm in having a little fun? The guy is  _ gorgeous. _

Hurley taps him on the shoulder, shaking Taako out of his thoughts. “Taako? Did you hear me?”

“Hm?” he responds, willing himself to focus on Sloane and Hurley. “No, Taako spaced out a bit there. What did you say?” 

“Are you here with your sister?” she asks.

Taako nods. “Yeah. Got dragged out here by Lup and Maggie and then abandoned once we walked through the door.”

Sloane throws her head back with a loud laugh. “Hey dude, at least Magnus and Julia are gonna make enough money with that drinking competition they’re running to cover a month’s rent.” 

“Never took Magnus as the type to run bar scams,” Hurley remarks, and Taako can faintly hear Magnus yell  _ “It’s not a scam, it’s just a game!” _ and Julia’s laughter. 

“Oh, you must be Lup’s brother!” the guy with the guitar says. “Dear gods, that took me an embarrassingly long time to put together.” His accent is floating somewhere between Cockney and Australian and landing squarely on  _ bad  _ (though Taako thinks privately it could be a little endearing). 

Taako grins, tossing his braid back over his shoulder. “The one and only. And it’s alright, it’s not like we’re identical twins,” he quips, and the guy flushes bright red.

Hurley cringes.“Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce you two.” She gestures to Tall, Dark, and Handsome and says, “Taako, this is Kravitz. Krav, this is Taako.” 

“Pleasure to finally meet you,” Kravitz says cordially and Taako nods in response. “Lup and Barry are classmates of mine. They have some interesting stories about you, Taako.” 

“Nothing good, I’m sure.” He smiles at Kravitz before turning back to Sloane and Hurley. “I’m gonna head out. If any of my four ask where I went, tell them I’ve been dead for seven years. Peace.” 

He turns and walks away, deftly avoiding where his sister and Barry are dancing and making his way out the door of the Davy Lamp.

(If he had stuck around a little longer, he might have seen Sloane nudge Kravitz and say, “He’s single, y’know.”)

It’s started raining in the time Taako’s been in the bar, and he grumbles and fishes around in his bag for an umbrella. Thankfully, he’s got several--some are just accessories, but there are a couple of real ones in there as well--and he’s saved from his precious hair and clothes getting drenched. 

Taako did  _ drive  _ to downtown Neverwinter with Lup and the rest of his friends, but it’s not that far of a walk back to his and Magnus’ apartment, and he appreciates the time alone. 

Well, he  _ thought _ it wasn’t that far of a walk, but it turns out when it’s pouring rain and your phone is dead so you can’t listen to music, it feels like years. By the time he reaches their apartment building, he’s irritable and definitely wetter than he wants to be. 

So, of course, __ there’s something sitting on the front step of the building. 

Taako pokes at the lump with the tip of his foot, and it doesn’t move. He’s not entirely sure  _ what _ the lump is--it’s not a raccoon, because raccoons attack you when you poke them, and then you come super close to being arrested by Hurley, and that’s not relevant--but it doesn’t seem like it’s awake or even  _ alive _ , so he decides that it’s probably easiest to just step over it. Unfortunately, the lump is  _ right in front  _ of the door, so that’s not gonna work. Taako, much against his instincts, bends down and gently shakes the lump, trying to see if he can get it to move. It does, in fact, respond to that, and Taako yelps and jumps back. 

The lump stirs, and Taako realizes with a pang of sadness that it’s a person wrapped in a blanket. “Hey, dude, I’m just trying to get into my apartment here,” he says gently, and the person whimpers, moving slightly off to the side. 

“Dude, come on. I’m not gonna turn you in or whatever, I just need to go inside.” The person makes no noise in response this time, and Taako rolls his eyes and kneels down so he’s level with the person. They pull back the blanket and he gets his first glimpse of the person who’s making this night  _ so much more annoying _ , and--

“Holy shit, you’re a child!” Taako exclaims, falling back onto his hands. “What the  _ fuck _ !”

The kid doesn’t say anything, just curls up tighter in the blanket. He sighs and asks, “What’s your name, kiddo? Are you waiting for your parents?” Taako thinks hard about whether or not he’s ever seen any kids in this complex, and he doesn’t think he  _ has _ , but he also hasn’t met, like, any of his neighbors, so… 

“‘M not waiting for anyone, sir,” the kid says quietly. “I don’t have anywhere to go.” 

He bites his lip and ignores the voice in his head that sounds eerily similar to Magnus saying that he needs to help. “Well, you can’t sit on the front step of my apartment building, kid.” 

“Angus.” 

“Gesundheit.”

The kid giggles a little. “Angus is my name, sir.” He sits up, and Taako feels another bolt of sadness when he realizes just how small this kid is. 

“Well, where are your parents? I can call them once I get my phone charged,” he offers, despite the voice that sounds much more similar to himself screaming at him to stop and just go inside. 

“They’re dead, sir,” Angus says rather bluntly, and he reels. “So are my grandparents. I was in an orphanage, but it was bad, so I left.” 

Taako snorts. “Yeah. Orphanages suck, Agnes.” 

“Angus, sir.” 

“Whatever. Anyways, you can…” he sighs loudly. “You can stay at my apartment for the night. This is only because my roommate would kill me if I just left you out here by yourself, and because my friend Hurley is a cop and she’d arrest me for real.” 

“You can’t be arrested for that, sir,” he says, and Taako narrows his eyes at Angus.

“Don’t make me change my mind,” he threatens, and the kid just laughs weakly. Taako is not a doctor, but he can’t imagine this soaked-through blanket is helping protect this kid from the cold even a little bit. “Come on. Give me your stupid blanket and let’s go inside and get you something warm to drink.” 


	2. i'll take the quiet over the crowds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako grapples with his feelings. angus learns something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i haven't slept in two days but i wrote this entire chapter and my beta/friend told me it was really good so we're gonna go with that she thinks whOOP
> 
> cw for a lot of talk about shitty childhoods on the part of both taako and angus

Taako busies himself making hot chocolate--the good way that his aunt taught him and Lup, not the shitty way--and tries not to think about the child sitting at his and Magnus’ kitchen table. He knows there’s almost no vanilla left, and it would be so much simpler to just transmute it and fill the bottle up more… 

He shakes his head and pours what’s left of the vanilla into the pot. There’s a hundred other things going on right now, he can worry about that later. 

The kid--Angus, Taako’s brain helpfully supplies-- is sitting silently at the kitchen table, and he doesn’t say anything other than a mumbled “thank you, sir” when Taako sits down across from him and hands him the mug of cocoa. 

“Don’t call me sir, kid. My name is  _ Taako  _ and I’m only, like, a hundred thirty. That’s not even that old,” Taako laments, and Angus laughs a little. “I’m an elf, kid. We live fuckin’ forever.” He pulls a face. “Can I even swear in front of you? You’re like, six.”

“I’m ten, and I don’t mind, sir,” he says quietly, and Taako groans. “Thank you for helping me.”

He huffs, staring intensely at his mug of hot chocolate. “Don’t mention it.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say. Of course, Taako doesn’t expect the literal  _ child _ to have any particularly good conversation starters, but he ought to know what to ask.  _ Come on, Taako _ , he thinks,  _ what would Magnus do? _

“Sir?” Angus asks, and Taako jerks his focus away from the mug. “What are you going to do with me tomorrow?”

“Well, do you have any family left?” Taako leans back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the kitchen table. “I’ll probably drop you off with them.”

He hesitates for a moment, and Taako recognizes the look on his face because he saw it in the mirror a hundred times when he was young, and he speaks up before Angus can either lie or say the ugly truth that yes, he does, but they’re probably not the kind of people you’d want to leave a child with. “You know what, scratch that. We can deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Tell me about yourself, kid.”

“Me?” Angus blinks a couple of times before saying, “Well, I, uh, I really like detective novels, sir. I’d like to be a detective.” 

Taako rolls his eyes. “Of course you do.”

“What do you mean, sir?”

“Nothing, Agnes,” he mumbles, and downs the rest of his hot chocolate. It burns the inside of his mouth but he can’t bring himself to care. “Alright. I don’t know where the fuck my roommate is, and honestly? I don’t really think I care.”

Angus curls in on himself a little when Taako mentions his roommate, and he knows that moment, he knows that feeling of  _ please, don’t let anyone else see me like this _ , so Taako takes out his phone and writes a quick text to Magnus. 

-

**to: maggie burns (11:04 PM)** hey are u four fuckers ever gonna come back

**from: maggie burns (11:06 PM)** No, I’m going to Julia’s place. *winky face*

**to: maggie burns (11:07 PM)** gross. tell lup i hate her 

**to: maggie burns (11:09 PM)** i cant believe u spelled out winky face ur the worst

-

“He’s not coming home tonight,” Taako says in a voice he hopes is reassuring, “so you’re welcome to sleep in his room.”

“Sir, you don’t need to do that.” 

He snorts and reaches over to grab the now-empty mug from Angus. “Life would suck if everyone only did what they needed to.” 

Angus looks at him with some sort of reverence-- _ gross _ \--and says, “You’re really wise, sir.” 

“For fuck’s sake, I’m letting you sleep in my house. Call me Taako, Agnes.” 

“Only if you call me Angus,” he counters, and Taako’s grateful he’s facing the sink so the kid can’t see him crack a smile at that. 

“Oh, you’re the worst.” He shakes his head and laughs a little to himself. “You can steal some of my roommate’s clothes. He’s a hoarder; I’m sure you’ll find something that fits a little bit.” Taako doesn’t admit that he’s got no fucking clue how human children work, but Magnus is human and Angus is… probably human, so there’s some connection there. Right?

Taako washes the mugs, keeping quiet. He tries to distract himself, thinking about the bar tonight and how loud it was (and wondering if he’ll ever see Sloane and Hurley’s cute friend again), but his thoughts keep drifting back to this stupid kid. He can’t help but think about just how  _ similar _ he is to Taako, and how he  _ knows _ how bad shit gets when you’re out there by yourself. 

And at least he had Lup. Angus is completely alone. 

He slams his hand down harder than he means to on the kitchen counter, and he watches Angus flinch out of the corner of his eye and immediately feels bad. Taako turns around, leaning against the cabinets and crossing his arms. “I’m not going to make you go back to the orphanage. I…” He takes a deep breath, bracing himself against whatever repressed memories will come flooding back when he brings it up, and says, “I know what life’s like out there, kid. Trust me.”

Angus looks up at him with no pity in his expression, only genuine curiosity and a little bit of disbelief. “Why, sir?” 

“I went through it too.” Taako sets his hand down and grips the kitchen counter tightly. “Come on, it’s probably way past your bedtime or whatever. You’re welcome to take a shower or whatever and then crash. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

He’s already halfway to his bedroom when he hears Angus call, “Sir?”

“Just fuckin’ call me Taako, dude.”

He grins. “Sorry, sir. I just wanted to say goodnight.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodnight, whatever. Sleep well, kid.” Taako shuts the door to his bedroom and collapses on his bed, which is still covered in clothes from earlier that night. 

_ Fuck this, _ he thinks,  _ of course I had to find the one kid in the city that’s got the same sob-story life as me. _

He wonders what Lup would think, if he ever told her. She’d probably adopt him, if he’s being completely honest. She’s always been far better with kids than he has, mostly due to the fact that Taako hates children and she thinks they’re cute. 

Magnus will love the kid, of course, because he’s Magnus and that’s enough said there. Same goes for Julia and probably Barry too, because really, Taako’s the odd one out in their group--

Hell, why is he even thinking about this? Taako doesn’t even want Magnus to meet the kid and he’s staying in their apartment, he’s sure as fuck not gonna be introducing him to Lup, let alone Julia and Barry. 

Taako rolls over, burying his face in a pile of skirts he’s left laying out. He hopes Angus is sleeping well, because he sure isn’t. 

The next morning, he drags himself out of bed at a reasonable 10 AM, which he still thinks is reasonable even if he did barely get thirty minutes of sleep the previous night. (Technically, Taako doesn’t  _ need _ to sleep, but he finds it to be much more relaxing than meditating.) He yawns and rubs his eyes, reaching for his phone as he tries to get a better grip on reality. 

Taako scrolls through his fantasy social media, briefly considering looking through Sloane’s fantasy Instagram to see if he can’t find the guy he met last night, before it dawns on him that Magnus is going to be  _ home  _ at some point today and he’s got no idea what the fuck he’s gonna do with this kid. 

Just as he’s about to get up and go get Angus, the kid walks out fully dressed and looking a million times better than he did the night before. Taako groans, because of course this kid is a fucking  _ morning person _ , and lays his head down on the table. 

“Sir, are you okay?” Angus asks, and Taako turns his head just slightly so that he can glare at him. He giggles a little and Taako feels marginally better.

“Why are you a damn morning person? Fuck, dude, I don’t even need sleep and I’m not a morning person. Mornings suck ass,” he says, picking himself up off the table and casting Mage Hand to grab him a coffee mug and start making coffee because Taako is  _ not moving.  _ Taako is  _ good. _

Angus sits down across from Taako and looks at him expectantly like he has any idea what the fuck he’s supposed to be doing in this situation. “So, sir, is your roommate going to be home soon?”

He starts to answer before getting distracted by his phone ringing, and he picks it up to look at who’s calling before realizing it’s Lup and if he doesn’t pick up, she  _ will _ come over. 

Taako answers the call and sighs dramatically before saying, “What’s up, Lulu?” 

“ _ Taako, what the fuck was that? You can’t just fucking skip out on us without saying anything--” _ Lup screeches, and Taako just rolls his eyes. He looks over at Angus, though, and the boy looks scared, and Taako recgonizes that stupid look--he doesn’t want to cause any trouble. Fuck this. 

“I believe I did tell Hurley and Sloane to tell you I’d been dead for seven years if you asked and asked Maggie to tell you, and I quote, ‘I hate you’,” he replies. 

He can practically feel the heat from her side of the phone. Whether it’s just because she’s pissed or because she’s literally lit her cellphone on fire, he’s not sure. “ _ Oh! Speaking of those two, Sloane told me that she introduced you to her friend Kravitz, _ ” she says in a more singsong voice, and just like that her anger is forgotten. Twins, dude. Can’t stay mad at each other for long.

“Oh my gods, Lulu, we are not talking about this right now.” Taako glances at Angus, who now looks much more confused than scared. 

“ _ I’ve always wondered if he was your type, honestly. Do you go for the dark and brooding kind? I’m never sure.”  _

He feels his face heat up and he says,“Lup, for real, we do  _ not  _ need to talk about this right now,” but she keeps going regardless.

“ _ Krav seems nice enough in the class we have together. Not Barry’s biggest fan, though. They have conflicting views or something like that--” _

“Lup!” Taako snaps, causing Angus to startle and nearly fall out of his chair. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“... _ Koko, are you okay? _ ”

“I’m fine,” he replies, his words icy and forced. “Magnus is gonna be home soon, I’ll talk to you later.” 

Taako hangs up and sets his phone down with a loud groan, slumping back in his chair. The kid looks at him with concern and something else Taako can’t quite place and asks, “Who was that?” 

“My stupid sister,” he says, still scowling at his cellphone. “She wants to talk about boys.” 

“Boys, sir?” 

He laughs at that, leaning back in his chair as far as he can. “Kid, I am as gay as they come, don’t sound so surprised. Now let’s be serious here, what are we gonna do about my roommate?”

“I wasn’t that surprised,” Angus mutters, and Taako laughs even harder. Angus doesn’t seem to find it quite as funny, and Taako mentally kicks himself--of  _ course _ he doesn’t find it funny, he’s fucking terrified. It’s the same “one wrong move” mentality that Taako and Lup grew up on, plain as day in this kid’s every action. 

Taako doesn’t get to think about it more, though. “Sir, why don’t we just tell him the truth?” Angus prompts. 

“You’re crazy. Telling the truth is for nerds and Magnus,” he says, and right now he feels like he’s twelve years old again, running away in the countryside with Lup.. “You know, I am a college student. We could probably come up with some bullshit about being a tutor--” 

He’s interrupted by the front door slamming and Magnus strolling into the apartment cheerfully, still in last night’s clothes, and calling, “Taako, I’m back! Where’d you go last-- _ holy shit _ , did you kidnap a child?” 

Taako sputters indignantly. “What the  _ fuck _ , Maggie, of course not, I just...” He starts to try and explain before he catches a glimpse of Angus and realizes how scared the poor kid looks, and Istus damn him, he feels bad. “Hey, kid, it’s okay. Maggie’s chill.” 

Magnus sits down at the table in between the two of them and asks, “So what’s going on here? Is there something weird? Taako, explain.” 

“Gods, I’m working on it.” He looks back and forth between the two of them, and the look on Angus’s face so clearly reads  _ tell him the truth _ that Taako’s frustrated by it, because why  _ would  _ he, there’s not a single reason to, but he can see that Angus is fucking  _ terrified _ … not because he looks like it, but because he doesn’t, not even a little. He looked scared not two seconds ago, but he  _ recognizes  _ all this, the walls and the carefully guarded expression. One strike and you’re out, and being afraid is a strike in a whole hell of a lot of people’s books. 

“So you know how you and Jules and Lup and Barry ditched me at the bar last night?” he starts, and his words come out more bitter than he intends. “Well, after I made the mistake of talking to Sloane and Hurley, I decided to ditch that scene and head back home because I wasn’t feeling it. I made it back here and this one,” he gestures to Angus, “was curled up on the front step. I thought he was a raccoon or  _ something,  _ so I tried to wake him up--” 

“Aren’t you not allowed to touch raccoons anymore?” Magnus asks, snickering.

“One time, Maggie, one time. Anyways, I wake the kid up, find out that he is, in fact, a kid, and I can’t just leave him sitting out there by himself, cause it’s fucking raining and he’s soaking wet.” 

Angus speaks up quietly and Magnus immediately turns his attention to him as he says, “It’s true. Mr. Taako was really nice to me. If I have to leave, I understand, sir. I’ll be okay.” 

Magnus’s face softens. “What’s your name?” 

“Angus, sir.” 

“Well, Angus, Taako and I aren’t gonna let anything bad happen to you, okay?” He stands up and grabs Taako’s wrist, pulling him into a standing position. “We’re just gonna talk for a sec. Nothing bad, swear on it.”

Magnus pulls Taako into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. “Please tell me you’re not just gonna kick the kid out, Taako.” 

“I’m not!” he protests, holding his hands up. “I swear, dude. I don’t wanna do that to a kid.” 

He raises his eyebrows, and Taako gives him the most annoyed look he can muster. “Did the same thing happen to him as… you know, you?”

Thankfully, Magnus has lowered his voice to a point where he’s certain Angus can’t hear them, but Taako still bristles at the comment. “Yeah, Maggie. I fucking found the kid curled up outside our shitty apartment. I made a few guesses.” He pauses. He doesn’t mention that Angus hits every single point on the “shitty childhood” checklist. He  _ certainly _ doesn’t mention that he sees a little bit of himself in this kid. “And even if he didn’t have the same tragic backstory as me and Lulu, I’m not a monster. I still would have helped him.”

Magnus nods appreciatively. “Are you gonna let him keep staying with us?” 

“We  _ can’t. _ We need to help him find somewhere else to live, dude.” 

“Taako,” he says sternly, “you can’t make him leave.” 

He huffs and leans against the wall, absentmindedly braiding and un-braiding his hair. “I’m not gonna, Magnus. I don't _want_ to."

Istus damn him to the Astral Plane, what has Taako gotten himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked it, please let me know! smash that kudos button, leave a comment, and feel free to hit me up on tumblr or twitter [@mydicegotcursed] to scream about whatever you see fit. have a good day/night!


	3. this life is funny, it don't make sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lup interrogates taako. angus tells a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuCK this it is 1:23 AM and i am TIRED but also i finished this chapter and my beta FINALLY decided to read it at midnight (jk jk i love and respect u sm suma) 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

The two hours between when Magnus gets home and when Taako has to get to class pass by excruciatingly slowly, with Taako and Magnus and Angus dancing around each other awkwardly as they try to avoid having to talk to each other. 

Well, Magnus is eager to talk to Angus, and Angus is willing to talk to Taako or Magnus, so really, Taako’s just been hiding in his room and avoiding them both. 

He’s essentially kidnapped a child is what he’s done, though it feels more like…  _ adopting _ a child, really. Not that Taako will ever voice  _ that  _ particular sentiment. 

Five minutes before he needs to leave for his Evocation lab (a class that Lup also has, because of course today is the day they have a class together), Magnus heads off to some lecture hall Julia has class at and Taako is left with Angus. 

“Sir?” he asks, and Taako groans loudly and sinks into the couch. 

“For fuck’s sake, I’m gonna tell you  _ one last time-- _ ”

Angus giggles and the threat falls completely flat as Taako is forced to fight back a smile at how happy the stupid kid seems to have gotten a rise out of him. “Sorry, Taako.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Sir.” 

He fixes the kid with the most furious glare he can muster as Angus does the best he can to keep himself from laughing hysterically. Taako sighs dramatically and says, “I hope you know you’re the worst kid I’ve ever met.” 

Angus’s smile falters a little and he instantly feels bad. “Yes, sir.” 

“I’m sorry. You, uh, kid, I’m just teasing you. As far as kids go, you seem fine,” he apologizes, albeit rather clumsily, and Angus seems to relax.  _ Thank Istus. _ “What are you gonna do while Maggie and I are out?” 

He perks up hopefully. “Well, uh, that’s what I was just about to ask!” Angus messes with the fraying hat he has on, and Taako is strangely reminded of the way he braids his hair, “I was really hoping that I could go to the, uh, the library on campus, si-- _ Taako _ . Is--is that okay? Can I do that?” 

“I’m not your  _ dad _ ,” Taako scoffs. “You can do whatever you want. The campus library is pretty close to where my lab classroom is. I can walk you there.” He blinks, confused, as what he just said hits him. The library is nowhere  _ close _ to his classroom. It’s on the opposite side of the campus. “I mean, you can also just find your way there. I don’t care.” 

_ Fuck, Taako, you’re real committed to making sure this kid stays happy for someone who hates children.  _

“Shut up,” he mumbles. 

“I--I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Angus stammers, tugging at a string on his sleeve and looking away from Taako, “I can just find the way there myself, don’t--don’t worry about it.”

He rolls his eyes and kicks the kid lightly in the shin. “I was talking to my dumb brain, not you. I’ll walk you to the library.” 

“I’m still sorry--” 

“Don’t fucking apologize, kid, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just talking to myself,” Taako says because fuck if Angus doesn’t feel like ten-year-old Taako all over again. He checks the clock and curses loudly since it’s now noon and he’s definitely gonna be late if he has to walk all the way past the library. “Come on, Agnes. We’ve gotta hit the road.” 

Almost a full thirty minutes later, Angus has been dropped off at the library and Taako has finally reached his lab room after a ten-minute dead sprint across campus. When he walks in the door, Lup shoots him a capital-L Look as he sits down next to her. 

“Thirty minutes? Koko, you  _ knew  _ today was a practical and I needed you to partner with me--” Lup hisses under her breath.

“Oh, shush, Lulu, I had to go to the library first,” he replies idly, because it’s not a  _ lie _ , it’s just only half the truth. 

She raises an eyebrow and says, “I didn’t realize that you knew we had a library.” 

Taako shoves her as she laughs, and they both get a glare from the halfling teaching the class. 

Lup is kind enough to wait until they’re split up for their practicals to start questioning Taako. “Okay, so what  _ really _ happened? Were you out with a guy?” 

“You put far too much stock in my love life, Lulu,” he says, lazily casting Daylight as the professor looks over at the two of them. “I was at the goddamn library. Swear it on your life.” 

“Aw babe, I know I don’t mean shit to you,” she teases.

They’re silent for a bit while the professor checks spell quality or  _ whatever _ and deems them good enough, so Taako and Lup are given a break while the other partners finish up. Taako thinks that it’s a perfect opportunity for them to sit and not talk to each other and maybe for him to build up the courage to actually follow Kravitz’s fantasy Instagram. But since Istus would rather Taako be humiliated every moment of his life instead, the  _ second _ he opens up the app Lup gasps and says, “Taako, are you stalking Kravitz’s fantasy Insta page?” 

“No!” he scowls, but she knows him too goddamn well. 

(Well, that and he had left the app open to Kravitz’s page.)

“We never really got a chance to talk about him this morning on the call ‘cause you ended up yelling at me--” 

Taako glares at her. “Yeah, I’m about to do that right now too.” 

Lup plows on. “But he really is a good guy, babe. I mean, he’s not  _ my  _ type, but he’s certainly good looking.” 

“That’s because your type is  _ nerds _ ,” he counters, sticking his tongue out at his sister. “And for the  _ record _ , I met the dude once at a bar and all I know about him is that he’s into necromancy and he plays the guitar.”

“And that he’s hot,” she adds. 

He rolls his eyes. “And that he’s hot.” 

Thankfully, the conversation fizzles out after that, and it’s not until the class has ended and Taako is walking back towards his apartment building with Lup that she brings up this morning’s phone call again. 

“What was going on with you this morning when I called you? Was everything alright?” she asks, and the concern in her voice is disgusting. 

Taako shrugs. “Just wasn’t in the mood to talk.” 

“Babe, you just ditched us last night with no explanation. I just wanted to--” 

“Make sure I was okay?” he bites out, and it’s angrier than he wanted it to be. “Check up on me? You don’t have to  _ take care  _ of me, Lup.” 

She bristles. “I’m not trying to take care of you. I care  _ about _ you, dingus.” 

“Yeah, well--” Taako bites his lip, not really interested in getting into a shouting match with his sister on the quad. “Whatever, goofus. I can take care of myself.”

Lup softens and reaches out to rest her hand on her brother’s arm. “Taako, I know you can. I’m your sister, babe. I want you to be  _ happy _ .” 

“Lame,” he replies, and she laughs. “I have to go back to the library; I left something there when I rushed out to get to class. See you when you inevitably just show up at my apartment.” 

“I would  _ never _ ,” Lup says with a dramatically offended tone. “Bye, Koko. Text me if you need anything, babe. I’ll just be at home with Barry.” 

Taako nods, staring down at his phone. Lup just shakes her head and sighs before walking away, leaving Taako with a sinking feeling in his stomach.  _ Your sister’s gonna hate you when this is all over, _ the voice in his head that sounds like him says. He ignores it and starts to walk over to the library, fantasy Instagram open on his phone as he makes his way through the campus. 

He should just follow Kravitz, right? It’s not  _ that _ weird. They’ve got mutual friends, so it’s not even like he had to do a lot of searching. 

Before Taako can overthink it, he hits the  _ Follow _ button and shoves his phone in the pocket of his messenger bag, then starts walking purposefully towards the library to get Angus. 

When he gets there, he finds the kid deep in conversation with the librarian, and he hasn’t noticed Taako yet, so he leans against the entryway and listens in. Angus is talking animatedly about the books he’s checking out--a detective novel series called Caleb Cleveland, information which Taako filed away for later--and the librarian is nodding along patiently. He’d be totally fine just sitting here and listening to Angus talk for a while (a thought that, when it crosses his mind, makes him want to gag), but the librarian seems… vaguely familiar. It’s a younger black woman with snow-white hair that he could have sworn-- 

“ _ Taako? _ ”

\--he knew from somewhere. 

He grins lazily at her as he walks over and leans on the counter. “Hey, Lucretia. Didn’t know you worked here.” 

“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before,” she points out. 

“Funny, Lup said the exact same thing.” Taako turns around to face Angus, who’s got a stack of books in his arms. “Kid, you done here? We can head back to my place for the day, I’m all done with classes.” 

Lucretia looks back and forth between Angus and Taako, baffled. “Do you two know each other?” 

“Some might say that, yes,” Taako says, “and others might say that it’d be awfully weird if I said that and didn’t know him.” 

She flushes. “Sorry. You--you never seemed like the type to enjoy being around children much, Taako.” 

“I  _ don’t _ ,” he responds, rolling his eyes, “I just like hanging around with this kid.” 

“He’s sort of my babysitter,” Angus lies, “But my parents are--they’re rich, ma’am, so it pays a lot more than regular babysitting and Mr. Taako is nice to me.” He sets the stack of books down on the counter and looks up at Taako. “Can I get these?” 

He snorts. “So long as you’re the one carrying them back to my apartment.” Taako smiles up at Lucretia, who still seems utterly befuddled, and says, “Tell Davenport and Highchurch I say hi. And tell Merle to grade my term paper a little faster, while you’re at it.” 

They finish checking out the books Angus wants onto Taako’s school account, and he waves goodbye to a still-confused Lucretia as they walk out the door together. Once they reach Taako’s apartment, Angus says, “I’m so sorry for lying back there. I figured--it seemed like you knew Ms. Lucretia and I didn’t want you to have to explain yourself again, sir.” 

He considers it for a second as he hangs up his messenger bag on the hook by the door. “Yeah, ‘Cretia and I are old friends. Probably best that you lied.” 

“Can I ask you a question, sir?” 

Taako rolls his eyes, but there’s no real malice behind the action. “I think you just did, but go right ahead.” 

“Sorry,” he apologizes, pulling at a string on the edge of his cap. “You said you have a sister, right? Are you… are you going to tell her about me?” 

He sighs and sits down on the couch, motioning for Angus to join him. “Honestly, kid, I have no idea. It depends on how long you stay here.” 

“Well, uh, I’m trying to figure out places where I could stay, sir. I promise I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible,” he mumbles, and Taako curses Istus for whatever she’s messed up in his life. 

“I’m not just gonna kick you out, Agnes. I’m an asshole, but I’m not a monster,” Taako says, “and I will tell my sister. She’s…” he trails off, unable to find the right words to describe what Lup is. She’s a lot of things, really, and none of them seem to fully express what she is, let alone what she means to Taako. None of the words are quite right, so he settles on, “She’s my other half. Lup is better than me in every way. You’ll love her. Everyone always does.” 

Angus moves a little bit closer to Taako and smiles at him, that goofy kid-smile that looks so out of place on this kid who’s been through more than most adults ever have, and Taako can’t help but smile back. “I’m sure she’s amazing, sir.”

“She’s fucking perfect.” Taako doesn’t exactly  _ love  _ that Angus is sitting so much closer to him, but he doesn’t object to it either. “You’re a lot like her, in some ways,” he admits quietly. “And a lot like me.”

“Thank you, sir.” 

He shakes his head. “The Lup thing is a compliment. It’s not a good thing to be like me, dude. I’m kind of a mess.” Taako looks around for something that he’s pretty sure a ten-year-old would like, and eventually he gets up and grabs the controllers for the fantasy Nintendo Switch Magnus has plugged into the TV. “Ever played fantasy MarioKart before?” 

“No, sir,” Angus says, looking curiously at the controller Taako hands him. 

“It’s pretty fuckin’ easy. Maggie’s not gonna be home for a couple of hours, so we’re gonna take over his video games for the time being.” Taako flops back onto the couch next to Angus, who sits up straight and studies the controller carefully. “I’m gonna kick your ass, Angus.” 

He brightens. “You called me by my actual name!” 

Taako flushes and looks pointedly anywhere except the kid sitting next to him. “Don’t get used to it, kid.” 

They play for hours, and it turns out that even though Angus is ridiculously smart, he’s not so great at video games. Taako does, in fact, kick his ass rather badly, and when Magnus gets home he doesn’t even bother chastising Taako for using the consoles without asking and just grabs one of the other controllers and sits down next to Taako. 

It feels… good, really good, just to sit there and hang out with Angus and Magnus. Even when Magnus wasn’t there, he wasn’t worried about what it was gonna be like tomorrow and how he was going to keep up the lie they’d started with Lucretia, Taako was just worried about beating Angus in fantasy MarioKart. 

It’s really good, and it scares Taako a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i adore writing lup and taako. they're so good. also, getting to introduce lucretia was fun! lucretia being a librarian is such a weird trope in modern taz aus but i do love it lots. 
> 
> like, comment, and subscribe! leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed it :D i thrive on people telling me how amazing i am thank u


	4. i'll keep it simple and not too bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako comes clean. angus makes a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what is this? am i posting at a reasonable time for once????
> 
> i'm genuinely so sorry this took so long, but you know. you guys know. you get it. 
> 
> anyways, enjoy!

A week has passed since Taako first found Angus, and he’ll never admit it out loud, but it’s been really nice to have the kid around. The week passes by faster than they have since Taako was little and still living with his aunt and his sister, and it stings when he thinks to himself that it’s because he’s  _ happy _ . He is barely even able to admit that to himself, though, and once the thought hits he dismisses it and goes right back to teasing Magnus and playing games with Angus. 

He’s happy, there’s no denying that. Lup notices--of course she does, she knows everything about him the same way he knows everything about her, and she teases him about it, demanding to know why Taako’s in such a good mood. They go out for lunch, the twins and Barry, and Lup asks him again,  _ why are you so happy?  _ and he just laughs and tells her she’s going crazy. 

Taako wonders how his life could have changed so quickly, but he doesn’t really care, because Lup doesn’t ask him if he’s okay anymore, Magnus doesn’t look at him with that stupid concern, and he feels good. 

It’s dumb, and he knows it’s dumb, but who’s gonna deny him the little happiness he can find after the rest of his life?

Lup and Taako have a class together once a week, and this week, she grabs him by the arm after class and says, “Come on, we’re going out for coffee.”

“Lulu--” he protests halfheartedly, but she just shoots him a glare and the rest of the sentence dies in his mouth. “Yeah. Okay. You’re paying.” 

“Sure, babe.” 

When they get there, Lup orders the coffee and a cookie for herself and then turns to her brother and asks, “So, be honest with me, Ko. What’s going on with you?” 

“What a way to start a conversation,” he mumbles, and she rolls her eyes. “I’m fine.” 

She crosses her arms. “See, the problem is…” Lup sighs, trailing off as the barista hands her the two coffees. She thanks them, hands one to Taako, then leads him over to a table in the corner of the coffee shop. “The problem is that I  _ believe _ you, babe. Normally when you tell me you’re fine, it’s the most obvious lie in the world.” 

Taako sits down across from his sister, setting his comically large iced coffee down with a sigh. "Alright. I have something important to tell you, and it's gonna sound really weird, but please don't judge me."

She gasps. "You have a secret boyfriend."

"Wha--Lup, no I don't have a secret boyfriend! I've been single for so long, the day I get a boyfriend I'll be shouting it from the roof of my building."

She throws her head back with a laugh, and Taako can’t help but grin a little bit too--he’s only half-kidding, anyways. He reaches across the table and grabs his sister’s hand, and she quiets down immediately. “Lup, okay. This is  _ so _ weird, and it’s so not…  _ me,  _ but I kind of… have a kid now?” 

Lup looks at him for a minute, confused, but he thinks she knows him better than he knows him sometimes, so she knows he’s serious. “Taako, babe.” 

“Yeah, bubbelah?”

“What the actual fuck?” 

He groans. “I told you it was weird like, four  _ hundred _ times.” 

She stares at him blankly for a few more moments that feel like hours, before asking, “Did you… kidnap a child?”

“No!” 

“Then where did you get it?”

Taako snorts despite himself and racks his brain for a way to explain this all to his sister. “I mean… okay. It’s a little bit kidnapping.” 

“I swear on Istus that if you get arrested for real--”

“I’m not gonna get arrested--listen, Lup,” he says, gesturing wildly and only just barely avoiding his coffee, “I found a kid and now he’s staying in my apartment. He’s my friend and Magnus likes him and  _ bas-i-cal-ly _ , I have a kid now.” Taako leans back in his chair, enjoying the baffled look on Lup’s face (but only a little). “His name is Angus and he’s either six years old or ten. I forget.” 

Lup slams her head down on the table and mumbles something about having a stroke before picking herself back up and asking, “And you’re… you’re taking care of this kid? Angus?” 

He flushes involuntarily and looks up at the ceiling, avoiding her eyes. “I mean, I guess. He was homeless, Lulu. He ran away from an orphanage.” 

“He reminds you of us,” she says quietly, and when Taako makes eye contact with her again her eyes are sparkling with tears. “Taako, I love you, okay? Don’t… don’t hide things like this from me, okay babe? Please.” 

Taako reaches across the table and squeezes her hand. “I promise I won’t,” he says, and the sincerity in his voice shocks even him. She beams, and the conversation quickly shifts back to something lighter. He eventually explains the rest of the story of how he found Angus, and Lup teases him about the raccoon thing (again), and Taako promises that he’ll let her and Barry meet the kid at some point. She begs and pleads to meet him sooner rather than later in that trademark Lup way that Taako doesn’t know how to say “no” to, and eventually he gives in and tells her that she can come over for dinner later in the week. She cheers, hands him the cookie, and tells him to give it to the kid. 

Taako rolls his eyes and makes sure Lup knows how annoying it is, but he slips the cookie into his bag nonetheless.

He’s not sure whether or not he’s lying to Lup about meeting the kid. Magnus already wants Julia to meet Angus, and it feels like everyone else thinks that this a permanent thing, that this is Taako’s kid, and what really bothers him about that statement is that it doesn’t repulse him as much as it did last week. 

It’s nice, even if it is temporary. 

*

It serves to prove Taako’s point about not really caring about Angus that he’s been out of class for quite a while and has still not remembered that Angus is at the campus library.

Angus doesn’t really care, though. He finds as many books as he can possibly carry, then curls up in the corner and reads them as fast as he can. Then he gets more books and repeats the process until Taako shows up, normally, but since Taako isn’t here yet he’ll just keep getting more books. 

The librarian is nice to him. He hasn’t figured out yet  _ how _ she knows Taako, because Miss Lucretia is organized and polite and Taako is… not. He’s sure there’s a reason, though. There’s always an answer to these sorts of things. 

Theory number one is that maybe they were friends in high school. That one seems unlikely because from what Angus knows about Taako, his personality hasn’t really changed much over the years, and also, Taako is an elf and is a hundred years older than Lucretia. 

Theory number two is that she’s a friend of Taako’s roommate or his sister or someone else. The more Angus talks with him, the more he thinks that Taako categorizes most of his friends as “Magnus’s friend” or “his sister’s friend” and that he doesn’t really seem to acknowledge them as friends of his. 

It’s a little bit strange, but he’s a detective, not a therapist. 

Angus walks back over to the aisle where he found the book he’s just finished and freezes when he realizes that there’s someone else in the aisle, and he’s not going to interrupt them, because then they’d be mad and maybe they’d be  _ so _ mad they’d report him to the authorities and he wouldn’t be able to live with Taako anymore--

“Oh, shoot, kiddo, are you alright?” he hears a voice ask, and it strikes him suddenly that he’s been panicking in the middle of the aisle. 

Angus nods and adjusts the book under his arm. “Yes, I am. Sorry to--sorry to bother you.” 

“You’re not bothering me.” The person laughs and Angus looks up at them, and they’re smiling, they don’t seem mad, so maybe it’ll be okay. “Gods, are you a freshman? I swear, they look younger every year.” 

“Actually, sir, I’m just waiting for my, uh, my babysitter,” he mumbles. “He’s late.” 

They nod (a bit awkwardly, Angus notices) and gesture to the book in his hands. “Caleb Cleveland, huh? I loved those books when I was a kid.” 

Angus lights up and holds out the book in his hand. “Have you read this one? It’s newer, but it’s really really good…” He pauses, considering his words. “But you’re an adult. Of course you haven’t,” he says sheepishly, bowing his head. “Sorry. It was a dumb question.” 

“I haven’t read it,” they say, but they don’t really seem…annoyed. “Should I? I’ve seen a lot of people say that the newer ones aren’t as good.” 

“Oh, well, a lot of people say that sir, but they’re really quite interesting if you can really look at the overarching story of the books,” he responds as he walks over to the shelf the person is standing in front of and pulls out a different novel. “Here, this one’s the best of the newer series. You should start with this.” 

“Huh.” They take the book, then turn to Angus. “I really should introduce myself. Your babysitter will probably be mad that you’re talking to a stranger.” They hold out their hand and say, “I’m Kravitz. I’m a student here at the college. You’re welcome to wait with me until your babysitter shows up.” 

Angus shakes his hand eagerly, though the name “Kravitz” rings a bell somewhere deep in his memories of the past week… maybe a conversation Taako and Magnus had? Someone that they went to school with? He takes a mental note of that and replies, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir! I’m Angus McDonald. Can we talk more about Caleb Cleveland?” 

They do, in fact, talk a  _ lot _ more about Caleb Cleveland. Angus learns that Kravitz is majoring in a religion-necromancy combo, but that he wanted to be a bard. They talk about books and music and about writing and Angus thinks privately that he wishes all adults were as nice to him as Taako and Kravitz were. 

As soon as he thinks about Taako, the elf slams open the front door of the library, and Angus can practically hear Miss Lucretia roll her eyes. 

The next few events happen in very quick succession, but he’s a master detective, so he catches  _ everything. _ Taako sees him and turns to where Kravitz and he are sitting, Kravitz sees Taako and his eyes go wide, then Taako mutters something under his breath that is  _ definitely  _ a string of curse words Angus is not allowed to repeat. 

“Taako!” Kravitz says, and it’s oddly strangled, and Angus abruptly remembers where he recognizes the name from. 

(In all fairness, was he  _ supposed  _ to have remembered the name in association with “Taako’s sister’s hot classmate”? 

Yes. He’s a master detective. He should have remembered that.)

Taako looks about as confused as a being could possibly get, and he replies with, “Uh, hey! Kravitz, right? Sloane and Hurley’s friend?” 

“That’s me.” He laughs nervously and stands up. “ Well, I should get going. It was great meeting you, Angus. And it was… uh, it was nice to see you again, Taako.” 

“Yep. Yeah. Super great,” he mutters as Kravtiz walks away, and Angus waves goodbye. “Hey, kid. We’re gonna have a talk about stranger danger.” 

Angus crosses his arms and glares at Taako. “He was nice to me.” 

“That’s great, bubbelah. Can I just ask you one thing? Literally, like,  _ one _ thing?” he huffs. “Why, pray tell, did you have to find and make friends with my sister’s hot classmate?” 

He hears a loud giggle from behind him, and Taako turns to give Lucretia a death stare that she promptly returns. “Sir, in all honesty, he was just talking to me while I was waiting for you.” 

Taako sighs and tugs at the end of his braids. “Yeah, I guess I owe you an apology for showing up so late. Got caught up with my sister.” 

“That’s alright, sir.” Angus scoops up the books he’s left sitting on the table, then looks to Lucretia and asks, “Is it alright if I check these out, Ma’am?” 

She laughs and motions him over, leaving Taako to grumble about how awful and hard this is going to make his life (it’s not) and how much it sucks (it really doesn’t). After Angus has collected all the books he needs, they start to make their way back to Taako’s apartment. 

On the way back, Taako reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out a small wrapped package, which he then hands to Angus. “A cookie from my sister. She wants to meet you.” 

He’s quiet for a moment as he contemplates the cookie before saying, “I thought you didn’t want your sister to know about me.”

Taako shrugs and starts walking again, looking straight ahead. “Changed my mind, bubbelah. Now eat the cookie.” 

Angus does, and somehow, it’s the best cookie he’s ever had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay safe, y'all. i love you guys.


	5. with empty pockets, we live out loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako considers buying a lock for his apartment. angus hides in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all are doin' well!
> 
> shout out to @thelowlysatsuma... sats, these chapters would not be nearly as good without you!!!! thank you for being amazing!!!

Magnus is waiting at the door for Taako and Angus when they get home, and Angus wisely retreats to the spare room they’ve started using as his bedroom, leaving Taako to face Maggie on his own. 

“Barry says you went out to lunch with Lup today and he told me that you told her that you were gonna have them over for dinner to meet Angus,” he says, and Taako groans. “Can Jules come?”

“Introducing you to Barold and Lulu was the worst mistake I’ve ever made,” he laments, and Magnus just laughs. “I’m fucking serious, dude, you three  _ suck. _ ” 

He nods, not really paying attention to what Taako is saying in the slightest. “You want something to eat?” 

“Not if you’re making it.” Taako sits down at the table as Magnus gathers the materials for ramen and pulls out his cellphone, staring at Kravitz’s Instagram page and trying to figure out whether or not their meeting earlier today means that he can DM him without it being weird. “I saw Kravitz today. Sloane’s friend.” 

“Oh, yeah, Hurley’s mentioned him before,” he replies. “Tall, dreads, super into music?” 

“Yeah.” Taako looks down at his phone, confused. “You know, I could’ve sworn Kravtiz had a weird accent when I first met him. He didn’t have an accent today, though.” 

Magnus nods and continues shuffling through their collection of ramen packets before saying, “Yeah, Hurley says he does that. Dunno much more than that, though.” 

He considers this for a minute. “Huh.” 

Unfortunately, both his thoughts and Magnus’s laborious process of making ramen are interrupted by a loud knock at the door, which causes Taako to bang his head against the table because  _ fuck _ , no one else needs to come by  _ ever _ . Lup and Julia don’t knock, Barry always texts first, and that means that whoever this is isn’t a regular or it’s-- 

“Merle!” Magnus cries, rushing over to the door to welcome only other person in this building that he and Taako know. He’s a professor at the college who teaches some sort of magical botany or  _ what-ever,  _ but he also offers some Gen Ed cleric classes that Taako needs to graduate. Taako thinks it’s infinitely weirder to be friends with one of the professors than it is to just live in the same complex as him. Magnus disagrees, but he disagrees with everything Taako says. 

“Yo, Maggie. Is Taako here?” Merle asks, fending off Magnus’ attempts to hug him. Taako clears his throat loudly from the next room, not bothering to look up from his phone where he’s still trying to figure out a smooth-but-not-weird text to send to Kravitz. Angus peeks his head out from the spare room, catches sight of Merle, and shuts the door quickly. 

“Hey, old man. Which one of your students taught you that greeting was hip with the kids?” he calls, and without waiting for a response, continues with, “Did Creesh tell you to finish grading my essay?” Taako looks up as Merle walks into the kitchen and starts rooting through their fridge. “Knock it off, dude, that food ain’t free.” 

He ignores Taako and continues looking through whatever food they have left over. “Haven’t talked to Lucretia in a while. Why, did you see her recently?” 

“Yeah, saw her at the library the other day,” he mumbles.

“I didn’t know you knew--”

Taako groans, cutting him off in the middle of his sentence. “I knew there was a library! I just didn’t use it! Why is everyone in this dumb group like this?”

Merle just shrugs, moving from the fridge to the snack cabinet and pulling out the Fantasy Oreos. “What’re you and Maggie doin’ today?” He tosses the Oreos at Taako, who catches them in a Mage Hand with a roll of his eyes and throws them back at Merle. 

“Nothing much,” he says, at the same time Magnus says “We’re going out,” and Taako shoots him a furious glare. 

He raises an eyebrow. “What the hell are you two doing? No, wait, don’t tell me. If you’re doing drugs, I have to report you to the campus officials and I don’t want to do that.” 

“Merle.” 

“Unless you wanna cut me in--” 

“ _ Merle _ ,” Magnus says, interrupting him. “I was gonna invite Taako out, I just hadn’t yet. Jules wanted to know if you were down for dinner tonight.” 

He shakes his head and looks back down at his phone, then feels the familiar strangeness of Merle’s Zone of Truth settle around him. “Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, Merle.” 

At this point, being Zone of Truth-ed by Merle is less of an actual attempt to compel someone to tell the truth and more of a gesture that says ‘I know you’re fucking lying.’ 

“What are you doing on your phone?” he asks after finishing off the rest of the cookies. 

“Staring at Instagram,” Taako responds, avoiding the question. He’s not sure whether or not the spell’s working on him, so it’s probably better to just split the difference between lying and being honest. 

Merla scoffs and throws the now-empty Fantasy Oreo package at him. “What are you doing on Instagram?” 

“Looking at someone’s account.”

“Whose?” Magnus asks, because of course he’s curious now too, they both suck and Taako should have never made friends with them. 

He shrugs and sets his phone down. “Does it matter?” 

“Is it that guy from the bar that’s friends with Sloane?” he presses, and Merle leans in.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Taako leans back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. “Why do you care? And please, I beg of you, do not try and give me dating advice. You’re both far too nerdy for that, and I have a  _ vibe _ going.” 

Magnus huffs. “I give great dating advice.” 

“I can’t lie right now, dude. You give shitty dating advice.” He stands up and pushes the chair in. “I’m gonna go do my homework in the spare room. See you two later.” 

Taako doesn’t want to do his homework, and he’s certainly not  _ going _ to, but as much as he likes Maggie and Merle or whatever, they can be way too much for him some days. Today is one of those days. 

(Plus, he feels bad for Ango. Kid’s been hiding in his room since Merle showed up. It’s Taako’s fault he feels like he needs to hide anyways, might as well apologize.)

He shuts the door behind him carefully, and Angus looks up from his book and smiles half-heartedly. “Hi, sir,” he whispers, “Is one of your friends here?”

“My friend Merle. Don’t worry about him.” Taako sits down on the makeshift bed next to the kid. “Whatcha reading?” 

“Caleb Cleveland!” He flips to the front of the book to show Taako the cover. 

He nods. “Those are your favorites, right?” 

Angus’ eyes light up. “Yeah! I’ve read every single one of them. Did you ever read them, sir?” 

“Nah, I hate books.” He messes nervously with the end of his braid, though he isn’t entirely sure why. “Hey, I’m sorry you gotta hide in here. Maggie and I’ll get rid of Merle soon, ‘kay?” 

“That’s alright, Taako.”

“I didn’t--Whatever.” Taako scoffs, leaning against the wall behind him. “Are you chill with meeting my sister and her boyfriend and Maggie’s girlfriend? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, bubbelah.” 

Angus shrugs, shutting the book and turning to face him. “She’s your sister, sir. You can choose.” 

“Yeah, okay. She’s real fuckin’ excited about meeting you, for some reason--” 

The rest of Taako’s sentence is cut off by the door to the spare room opening, and when he sees Merle leaning against the doorway, the urge to just cast Invisibility on himself and fucking jump out the window is nearly overwhelming. 

“Okay, so I have an explanation,” Taako says, and Merle just starts laughing. 

It takes approximately thirteen years, but Merle eventually stops laughing and just shakes his head. “Taako, where in the hell did you find a child?” 

“He just--well--Merle, this is Angus” he stammers helplessly, trying to come up with a good enough explanation for this. “He… lives here now?”

“Cool.” Merle nods at Angus, who nods back, confused. “Hey, kid. I live in the building. I’m Taako’s professor/best friend--” 

“Close acquaintance at  _ most _ \--”

“Best friend, Merle Highchurch. Taako, Maggie burned his ramen. If you can ditch the kid for a few minutes, we could use some magic,” he says, turning and walking away from the spare room. 

Taako groans and stands up, shaking his head. “You can use magic, dipsit!” he yells, “You’re a fucking cleric!” 

“Can’t hear you!” Merle yells back. “Too busy watching your kitchen burn down!” 

“Motherfucker,” he mutters through grit teeth, rolling his eyes and storming back into the kitchen. 

They are eventually able to get Merle to leave (though it takes much longer than Taako would have liked), though it does incite a really awkward conversation about why Taako and Magnus are such close friends with a dwarf who’s old enough to be their grandfather.

“Well, it’s a really long story,” Taako says, trying to dodge whatever questioning the kid has prepared for him. “I don’t know if we have time.”

Angus sits down cross-legged on the couch and pulls out his notebook, looking expectantly up at Taako, who groans and sits down next to him. 

“It involves three broken arms, a raccoon, a cemetery, and a lot of Fantasy Sprite, so write that down real fast.” 

Angus looks confused, but writes it down anyways. “Three… broken arms?” 

“All Merle’s. Two involved Sprite, one involved the cemetery. The raccoon has very little to do with the rest of the story.” 

Turns out the rest of the story makes about as much sense as the beginning, and Taako sees the collection of frustrated question marks on Ango’s notepad growing steadily, so he just shakes his head and stands up. “Finish tellin’ ya later. I’m gonna do some homework now, so uh… see you, Ango.”

And the three of them resume their normal routine. 

That is, until Lup texts Taako to officially set up a time for their dinner with Angus. 

-

**from: lulu (3:42 PM)** hey babe, when are u free to do dinner w/ barry and i? 

**from: lulu (3:42 PM)** oh, and jules says that magnus said she can come

**to: lulu (3:45 PM)** i hate you 

**from: lulu (3:46 PM)** interesting. does tomorrow night work for u?

**from: lulu (3:47 PM)** i’ll even help u cook

**to: lulu (3:50 PM)** if i say no, will you still come?

**from: lulu (3:52 PM)** absolutely. see u tomorrow babe!

-

Taako stares at the kitchen in front of him the afternoon they’ve set (well, Lup has set) for dinner--of course they want him to cook, he’s  _ Taako _ , he loves cooking, but he hasn’t cooked anything in such a long time and he doesn’t feel like he’s earned the right to at this point. 

It’s fine, Lup will be here soon enough and he can just tell her he didn’t have any ideas. He’ll pretend he’s cooking alongside her and she can do all the work--they won’t notice, he thinks. 

Angus is sitting at the kitchen table, watching Taako have his staring match with the pantry with curious eyes. “Do you need help, sir?” 

“I am begging you to call me Taako, kid. Honestly.” He sighs, shutting the cabinet door and turning to face Angus. “Alright. Time for a crash course on my sister, Barry, and Julia. Maggie!” Taako calls, and he pokes his head out of his room, head tilted to the side. 

“Whaddya need, Taako?” 

He motions for Magnus to come join him and says, “I’m gonna give Agnes a crash course on the complete assholes he’s about to meet, and one of them is your girlfriend. So you’re helping.” 

“Jules is not--”

“Lesson one!” Taako interrupts, sitting on the counter and crossing his legs, skirt falling across the cabinets below him. “Lup isn’t just my sister, she’s my twin sister. We look exactly the same, except her hair is short and she is also the worst.” 

Angus scribbles this down in a small notebook, and Taako can’t help but laugh. “Lesson two! Barold is her boyfriend. He is a massive fucking nerd. You’re gonna love him, and it’s gonna really suck for me.” 

“Lesson three! Julia is Maggie’s girlfriend and she is strong and kind and way too good for Magnus.” 

“Hey!” Magnus protests. “I know that, you don’t have to  _ say _ it.” 

He swings his legs back and forth, fixing Angus with as serious a stare as he can manage. “They are all going to absolutely love you. I am certain of it. But if it gets weird for you, you can tell me and I’ll kick them all out. Okay?” 

“Okay, sir.” 

“For  _ fuck’s _ sake.” 

Taako casts Unseen Servant and commands it to clean up the apartment, and Magnus prattles on about Julia to Angus for far longer than is necessary. (Ugh,  _ love. _ )

At 5:30 PM on the dot, there is a small scuffle outside the door and he hears Barry say (rather loudly) “Love, it’s just  _ rude _ not to knock!” and his sister respond with, “It’s fucking Taako, he once climbed in through the fucking window rather than ring our doorbell!” 

Angus gives Taako a look, to which he responds by rolling his eyes and mouthing, “I’ll open it in a second. I just wanna see this play out.” The kid just gives him what can only be described as true  _ puppy-dog eyes _ , damn the bastard, and Taako resigns himself to his fate.

Taako places a hand on Angus’ shoulder and gives him a half-smile, then reaches forward to open the door. It swings open, his sister and Barry freezing in place, and he says, “Hey, Lulu. Hey, Barold. Good to see you. This is Angus.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay safe out there, y'all!!! hope you enjoyed it!!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr or twitter [@mydicegotcursed] and please leave a comment or kudos if you did like it!!!


	6. we got it all and we got nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lup meets angus. taako comes very close to committing murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy oh boy it's been a little while huh? i've been kinda busy (shockingly) and super unmotivated recently, and i'm glad i finally finished this. it was so much fun to write!!!!
> 
> again, shoutout to @thelowlysatsuma for being both a wonderful friend, beta, and person to discuss how many death crimes angus can commit with. love u!

Taako counts in his head the exact number of seconds it takes for Lup and Barry to fully process the child in front of them--it’s three whole seconds--and then his sister makes a noise that can only be described as a true  _ screech _ and promptly hugs Angus as tight as possible. 

“Babe, you are the cutest thing!” she says, pulling back to actually look at the kid. “You’re Angus, right?” 

He nods, seeming terrified (which is generally how Lup makes people feel) and says, “Uh, yes ma’am. That’s me.” 

Lup smiles at him, then turns to Taako and her expression dips almost immediately into anger. “Koko, babe, I love you. You’re my other half. How  _ dare  _ you keep this kid a secret from me?” 

“It was for, like, a week, Lulu--” 

“Taako.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, whatever. I’m sorry, I guess. Now, will you at least help me cook so that this hell of a night can be over faster?” 

She grins and breezes past him into the kitchen, stopping to say hello to Magnus and to tell him that Julia is on her way, and Taako glances back to see Barry showing Angus some skeleton he definitely shouldn’t be showing a ten-year-old, but the kid seems fascinated and Taako’s not his  _ dad _ anyways. 

Taako jumps up on the counter as Lup pulls whatever she needs out of his cabinets, and she asks him, “Angus really is a cute kid, babe. Do you like having him around?” 

“He’s not mine, bubbelah,” he responds, annoyed. “I’m just taking care of him.” 

She levels him with a glare and says, “He’s as much your kid as he is anyone else’s, Taako. And he seems sweet.”

He hates that she’s right, but the truth is that Angus is as much Taako’s kid as he is someone else’s, and that’s probably as much to Ango’s detriment as it is Taako’s. “Lulu, honestly, the kid deserves better than me regardless of whether or not he’s my kid--which he’s not, thank you very much.”

“Okay.” Lup hums quietly to herself as she begins to mix ingredients for a pasta recipe Taako knows by heart, and it’s hard for him not to cook with her, but she seems fine on her own. After a few minutes, the door opens and Julia all but tackles Magnus, causing a loud enough distraction that Lup and Taako both feel like they need to go check on it. 

Julia is absolutely delighted by Angus, and between her and Barry, he’s not left alone for more than two seconds. Magnus is able to drag everyone into the kitchen so that they can all talk while Lup and Taako (mostly Lup) cook, and they bombard the kid with questions about his favorite things. Angus is laughing and smiling, he’s fascinated by the necromantic stuff Barry shows him, and Julia promises to show him her sword the next time she comes around. 

Angus is  _ happy _ , which means Taako is too. 

When dinner is finished and the six of them crowd around their shitty kitchen table, Taako leans over to Angus and whispers to him, “You doing good? My sister and Barold can be a lot sometimes.”

“Yeah!” He nods excitedly. “They’re so  _ cool. _ Mr. Barry was showing me all of his necromancy stuff, have you seen it? It’s crazy!” 

Taako sighs loudly before turning to the rest of the table and announcing dramatically, “Barold, you’ve corrupted my kid. He thinks your dead shit is cool.” 

Barry laughs, the asshole, and says, “Taako, just because you think it’s weird doesn’t mean Angus is gonna.” 

“Ango, I assumed you had more common sense then to like Barold. We’re going to have a problem here.”

Julia and Lup share a look as Barry stifles a laugh behind his hand, and Angus replies with a placating “yes, sir,” leaving Taako spluttering and the rest of the table doubled over laughing. 

Thankfully, Lup is kind enough to wait until the two of them are cleaning up from dinner to begin drilling him about Kravitz (but not kind enough to wait until everyone else has left the room), brandishing a fork at him accusingly and saying, “So, babe, I was talking to Hurley earlier today--” 

He interrupts her with a load groan, and Julia, Barry, and Magnus all turn towards the twins. “Fuck you, Lup.”

Barry mumbles something about that being his job and the rest of them absolutely lose their shit, both at that and at Taako attempting to cover Angus’s ears before being shoved away unceremoniously. His sister simply grins at him and continues, “Hurley told me that she was talking to  _ Kravitz _ and that you and Ango ran into him at the library.” 

“Don’t say his name like that, it’s weird,” he mutters, grabbing the fork out her hand with Mage Hand and putting it back into the drawer. “I don’t know what you’re all so hung up on.” 

“He’s gay and single and cute and he  _ likes you _ ,” Julia says, “and we’re your friends and it’s our duty to make sure that we tease you about guys that you like, asshole.” 

“That’s not what I signed up for with this whole friends thing,” he grumbles, and Lup scoffs. “It’s nothing, you’re all making a big deal out of like, one thing--”

Angus speaks up, much to Taako’s annoyance, and says, “Actually, sir, he seemed flustered when you came to pick me up and saw him. Also, you kept calling him ‘my sister’s hot classmate’.” 

Lup laughs maniacally and wraps Angus in a tight hug. “Babe, you are my favorite. I like you so much more than my brother.” She lets go, turning to said brother, who is shooting Angus a death glare. “Taako. Are you serious, babe? You have to talk to this guy!”

The rest of the group murmurs their agreement, and in turn are all added to Taako’s hit list. “Jules, do you really know that he likes me?” 

She nods. “Lup and Sloane and Hurley and I have a group chat.” 

“Of course you do.” He sighs. “I invite you all into my home--”

“Our home,” Magnus corrects.

“Whatever. I just--it’s not worth it, guys. Lulu, I mean… you know I don’t date well.” 

She softens slightly, biting her lip in thought. “I guess.”

“I think you should give it a shot,” Angus offers, drawing everyone’s attention towards him. “Um, sorry, sir. I agree with Miss Lup. And Miss Julia. I think that he likes you, and, uh, I think you should be happy.” 

Taako stares blankly at Angus for a moment, then resigns himself to his awful fate--they’re literally never going to give up on this, he realizes, and it’s only a matter of time before the four of them drag someone like Merle into it. “Alright, traitor. I’ll DM him on fantasy Instagram or something.” 

Angus laughs and Lup cheers triumphantly, then Magnus suggests a group game of fantasy MarioKart and before they all make their way over to the couch Taako stops Angus and says, “I--thanks, Ango. I think. I’m glad that you want me to be happy. I want you to be happy too, bubbelah.” 

Angus hugs him tightly and mumbles, “Thank you, Taako,” into his shirt, and the elf rolls his eyes and hugs the kid back gingerly. 

They play video games way later than any of them intended, and Barry absolutely kicks all of their asses. Lup is more than happy to reward him with kisses, and Taako eventually takes initiative and kicks everyone who doesn’t live in the apartment out before there’s too much PDA, though his sister pulls him aside while Barry shows Angus some ridiculous necromantic spell and tells him that he’s doing a good job with Angus. 

Taako pretends not to care, but he’s smiling the whole rest of the night. 

Angus isn’t his kid--he’s just  _ not _ \--but Taako’s starting to think it’d be okay if he was. 

The next morning is far too boring, with Angus hiding in his room, Magnus already gone to one of his classes, so Taako gives in to the nagging voice in the back of his head telling him to just get it over with and DMs Kravitz.

He then throws his phone halfway across the room and walks into the kitchen. 

There’s a few moments of silence as he searches the cabinets for the fantasy PopTarts before Angus walks in and greets him with a, “Good morning, sir!”

“Morning, Ango,” he mutters, tossing a PopTart at the kid. “DId you have fun last night?” 

“Oh my gosh, yes! Your sister and Barry and Julia are  _ awesome _ . Did Lup and Barry really fight a lich and win?” he asks, a little bit starstruck. 

“Yeah, they did,” Taako responds with a small laugh, “It’s a good story, isn’t it?”

Angus nods. “Are they married? They seem married. That’s a really weird thing to say, sorry, sir.” 

“I mean, you’re not wrong, but they’re not. Married, that is.” He sighs, sitting down next to Angus. “One of these days. Maggie and I have a bet going. Glad you like them all, though,” Taako says thoughtfully, unwrapping the PopTart, “I feel like you’re gonna have to deal with them a lot more, bubbelah.”

“I’d really like that, Taako,” he says quietly, and Taako reaches over to ruffle the kid’s hair as if on instinct. 

“You’re not going anywhere, Ango. You’re stuck with me and my idiot family until you’re dead.”

He smiles. “Thanks, sir. That means a lot.” 

Taako scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Can’t imagine why,” he says. “We’re all insane.” 

“You’re a family,” he explains. “And that’s--” 

“I know,” Taako interrupts, “I know. You’re… I mean, I think you’re a part of this stupid family too, bubbelah. If you want to be.” 

“I’d like that, sir.” 

They don’t talk for the rest of the morning, but the sentiment lingers throughout the whole day. _ You’re a part of this stupid family too _ . 

He knows how much that means to Angus. Taako would have given anything to hear that when he was that age, and he’s certain Lup would too.

Lup knew immediately that Taako recognized a bit of himself in Angus. They’re so much more alike than he knew at first, but damn it, if he wouldn’t give all his gold to keep this kid happy. 

It’s gonna be the end of him, but it’ll be a good time getting there. 


	7. we don't need no treasure, we don't need no crowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angus breaks down. taako's not prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm Back babey
> 
> it hasn't been that long we're all good. shoutout as always to my lovely beta @thelowlysatsuma for consistently yelling at me when i write things that are sad and being incorrect about how funny she is 
> 
> cw for this chapter (ish): angus has a minor panic attack in the beginning, but it's not super graphic and isn't very detailed.

Angus is starting to regret living with Taako. 

Not because he’s bad or anything! He’s been nicer than most adults in Angus’ life, but he’s still an  _ adult _ , which means the chances that he’s gonna mess up and Taako’s gonna throw him out are still high. 

Taako seems so  _ happy _ nowadays, in the weeks following the dinner with his sister, and Angus is careful not to upset him. He has flashes of hope, sometimes, that he’s happy because of Angus, but he catches glimpses of a phone screen left open to fantasy Instagram and of Taako on the phone with his sister and he dismisses that hope. 

The campus library is his safe place as much as Taako and Magnus’ apartment is, and he has his own little corner that Miss Lucretia leaves books she thinks he’ll like in. Sometimes he sees Taako’s friends and they always ask him how he’s doing and tell him they like him more than Taako and it just feels a whole lot like lies to him. 

Lup is his favorite, he thinks. Angus wants her to like him  _ so much _ , because Taako loves her and if he makes her mad he’s gone.

And he really likes living with Taako. He can’t mess this up. He can’t go back to the orphanage. He can’t he can’t he  _ can’t-- _

“Ango?” Taako asks, waving a hand in front of his face, and all of a sudden he’s back in the campus library. “Uh, you there, bubbelah? I was just saying that we can head home, if you’re ready.” 

“Yes, sir!” he says, smiling brightly as he gathers up his books. “I just need to check these out!” 

Lucretia laughs and shakes her head. “Angus, you’re all good. They’re all checked out to you already.” 

Taako laughs. “Creesh, how come you’re never this nice to me?” 

“As far as I can tell, you don’t know how to read, Taako,” she responds, leaving him sputtering while Angus hides a smile behind his hand. 

He’s still mumbling about how  _ offended _ he is as they walk back to his apartment and Angus can’t help but laugh--Taako is so  _ ridiculous _ , and he knows it, he leans into it. He’s brave, really. 

“Sir, how are things going with Mr. Kravitz?” he asks, running a little bit to keep up with Taako’s pace. 

“Did Lup put you up to this?” Taako skids to a halt and points an umbrella at Angus accusingly. “You have to tell me if she did. Legally.”

He giggles and makes a zipping motion across his lips. “If she did, I’ll never tell. I like her a whole lot more than I like you.” 

“I’m gonna kick you out, you little shit,” Taako says, and Angus stops laughing. He knows he’s kidding because he’s laughing and smiling and twirling that stupid umbrella around, but  _ what if he does what if he really kicks me out because I said I liked Lup better what if what if-- _

He feels a hand on his shoulder and he realizes all too late that he’s shaking, and Taako is looking down at him with his head tilted to the side, looking concerned. “Ango? You alright?” 

“Yes sir, I’m doing fine!” Angus responds, though even he can hear the uncertainty in his voice. 

“Okay..” he trails off, seeming skeptical. “What books did you end up getting?” 

He doesn’t say anything, still trying to calm himself down so that he looks fine, at the very least. Taako seems to notice that something’s a little off, but doesn’t press him. “Lup offered to take you out to lunch next week, if you’re interested. I told her I’d ask.” 

“That sounds nice, sir,” he says quietly. 

They’re silent for a little while, and Angus can feel his breath catching in his chest as his mind runs through all of the scenarios that could lead him to get kicked out. He tries to shake it off and think about something,  _ anything _ else, but at this point he’s powerless to stop whatever’s going on in his head. 

He’s shaking uncontrollably now, trying to regulate his breathing even though it’s getting harder too. Angus stops in his tracks and hugs his books tight to his chest, shutting his eyes and trying to regain the ability to speak and move. 

Taako stops and turns back, noticing that Angus isn’t following him. “Are you alright, Ango? Be honest with me.” 

Angus lets out a gasping breath and shakes his head, barely able to form words. “I’m f-fine, sir. Just overreacting.”

“Oh, is this about the joke I made?” Taako sighs and kneels down so that he’s roughly the same height as Angus and says, “I promise I’m not gonna kick you out, Ango. It was a bad joke and I shouldn’t have made it.” He rubs his shoulder comfortingly. “You can tell me if you’re not doing okay. You’ve had a shitty life.” 

He laughs even though he feels like he’s about to start crying. “When did you become nice, sir?” 

“Kid, I’ve been a total sweetheart this whole time. Haven’t you noticed?” he jokes, and waits to continue until Angus smiles. “I know you’ve had a really hard life, alright? You’re a good detective. I’m sure you’ve guessed that mine wasn’t exactly picture-perfect either.” 

Angus sniffles and says, “Well, I don’t--I don’t wanna be rude, but you--you only ever talk to Miss Lup and never any other family, and--and you don’t cook, ever, but you always say you  _ want _ to, and I know you told her that we weren’t--that we weren’t that different  _ at all _ , and I got scared that I was gonna screw up and--and remind you too much of your past, or insult you somehow, and that you were gonna throw me back out on the street and I don’t  _ wanna  _ go back,  _ I can’t go back-- _ ”

“Angus.  _ Angus, _ ” Taako interrupts, “I would  _ never. _ ” 

His voice is fierce and unwavering; Angus is a good detective, he knows when someone is lying to him and it doesn’t seem like Taako is, but he could be. He’s not sure if it’s worth it to risk getting thrown out again on someone like Taako, who loves his family and friends with every little bit of him and hates his enemies just as much, who pretends he doesn’t care but cares about everything oh-so-much, and who took a chance on Angus because  _ he reminded him of himself.  _

Angus breaks and begins to cry, throwing his arms around Taako in a tight hug. “I--I hope you’re--I hope you’re telling the truth. I don’t want to leave you.” 

Taako seems surprised at first but only hesitates for a second before returning the hug. “Ango, you can talk to me, okay? You’re my kid.” 

“I thought I was just the kid that lived with you?” he mumbles, voice muffled due to the fact that he’s got his face buried in Taako’s jacket. 

He sighs and says softly, “You’re my fucking kid. We’re family, bubbelah.” 

“Thank you, Taako.” 

Taako stands up, smiling a little--the kind of smile he gets around Lup or Magnus--and shakes his head. “Thank _ you _ . You’re fucking amazing, kid. And… feel free to be honest with me about this stuff.”

“I will, I promise.” Angus picks his books up off the ground where he dropped them and fixes the hat he’s wearing. “Are we going home now?” 

“Are you kidding me? No, we’re going to Neverwinter. I have some money to blow and I deserve compensation for that overly honest and emotional conversation.” He shoots Angus a lopsided grin. “There’s a bookstore down there that Barold swears by. I figured you might want to get your own copy of some of these books.”

He nods and they start off again, Taako recounting a story about Magnus’ first attempt to bring a dog into the apartment and Angus listening intently. He’s still not completely sure how much he believes, but it’s good to feel like he’s got a family--even for a moment. 

*

Taako drags Angus to a bookstore downtown and listens to everything the kid says about his Caleb Cleveland books and then some--and he doesn’t tease him, for once. 

He’s never been particularly good at… emotions, or like, feelings, especially other people’s. Angus breaking down scared him (and confused him) almost as much as it worried him because Taako is  _ not _ the person you call when you have emotional problems, and he is  _ definitely _ not equipped to handle a crying child. 

But he knew Angus needed to hear that he was loved (it’s what he would have wanted to hear when he was a kid and all he had was Lup and a bit of talent for cooking), and that Taako genuinely did want him there, so he tried his damn best to tell the kid that and so far it had  _ seemed  _ like it worked. 

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, not even a little bit, and he feels fucking terrible that he made a joke that had made Angus break down like that. 

_ I owe this kid so much. _

Taako catches Angus shaking a little bit and seeming worried on the walk over there, so he puts a hand on his back to steady him and Angus thanks him, not with words but just by smiling. 

It is fucking  _ terrifying _ how similar Angus and him are, and it rattles Taako to his core that he could have made him feel the same way Taako’s relatives used to make him feel--that constant fear of being kicked out, trusting an adult with  _ everything _ and just getting let down again and  _ again _ . 

_ Adults aren’t worth shit to a kid who hasn’t had a good life _ , Taako thinks. (He knows this better than most.)

They reach the little bookstore Barry had told him about and Angus beelines for the back of the store which they’ve labeled “Youth Fiction”, and Taako follows him, though he takes his time. He notices that there’s no one at the desk and truly no one else at the store, which is good. It’s probably better that Angus doesn’t have to deal with other people right now. 

He sits with Angus for a little while and proceeds to get the rest of the Caleb Cleveland series spoiled for him, though he’s much more focused on whether or not Angus seems to be feeling better.

Once it appears that he is, Taako is content to leave Angus to read in the corner and goes to wander the shop’s small cooking section, flicking through one of the books a little before he’s interrupted by someone asking, “Hi, welcome to the store, anything I can help you with?” 

Taako starts to dismiss them with a ‘No thanks, just looking,’ but as he looks up, the words catch in his throat. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

Kravitz blinks back at him, seeming about as shocked and confused as Taako feels. “That sure is a way to greet your friend.” 

“Why is it that we only ever see each other in public when I’m in a book place?” he complains, and Kravitz stifles a laugh behind his hand. 

“Book place?” he asks, and Taako hits him on the shoulder. 

“I’m just here with my kid because I told him I’d get him books.” He glances back over to where Angus is sitting, still engrossed in his book. “So… I’m gonna be here for a couple hours, I think.” 

He smiles and leans against the shelf next to him. “Well, Taako, welcome to the Black Quill Bookstore. I work here.” 

“I gathered,” Taako says, rolling his eyes. “Strange that we haven’t seen each other in person in a while.” 

Kravitz laughs, nodding. “It is, yeah.” He tilts his head to the side, still grinning. “You’re awfully pretty.”

“Aw, thank you. I know.” He winks. “You’re hot.” 

“ _ Taako _ .” 

“Yeah, babe?” he asks, teasing. Kravitz blushes and looks away, and Taako realizes quickly what he’s just said. “Not… like that. Never mind.” 

Thankfully, he is saved from any further awkward conversation by Angus walking over and handing Taako the huge stack of books he’s collected. “Hi, Mr. Kravitz! Nice to see you again!” he chirps, then turns back to Taako. “Can I have these?” 

“Ango, you just handed me ten books.” He watches Angus’ face fall, and corrects himself, “But anything for you, bubbelah.” 

“Anything?” 

He shrugs, dumping the books on the counter. “Anything I can’t give you, Magnus or Lup or Barry can.” Taako flashes Kravitz his best smile, though he just rolls his eyes good-naturedly in response. 

“Tell Barry and Lup I say hi,” he says as he rings up Angus’ books. “And Julia, if you see her.” 

Taako laughs and asks, “Still not Magnus, though?” 

Kravitz grimaces. “He definitely still hates me. I’ll leave things be with him and Merle for a bit.” He hands the books back to Taako and says, “It was nice seeing you two again. Feel free to come by any time.” 

“We will!” Angus exclaims, cutting him off before he can respond. “Bye, Mr. Kravitz!” 

They head back towards the apartment, and Angus seems much happier than he was earlier. He adjusts his little hat before turning to Taako and asking, “So, are you dating Kravitz now?” 

Taako blushes, but manages to avoid eye contact. “No, we’re not dating.” 

“But you’ve been texting him.”

“How do you  _ know that? _ ” 

Angus shrugs, smiling a little. “You keep leaving your phone open and unlocked. And you message him on fantasy Instagram a  _ lot _ .”

He huffs. “You are an  _ infant _ \--”

“I’m ten.”

“--and you do not get to judge me based on how much I use my Instagram to message guys that I think are cute.” 

He shakes his head. “It’s my duty as your kid, Taako.” Angus speeds up a little bit so that he’s walking backwards, facing Taako. “Race you to the apartment?” 

“Absolutely not,” Taako says, but Angus has already taken off, so he levitates the books he’s been carrying and starts sprinting after him. 

Angus beats him back handily, but Taako shows up a few moments later with all of his books levitating behind him. “You cheated,” he says, and Angus giggles. 

“I would never,” he responds, giving him puppy-dog eyes, and runs up the stairs to the apartment. Taako rolls his eyes fondly and follows him up, and both of them feel a lot happier. 


	8. all i need's a skyline and a view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako chats with some friends. angus thinks about school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, just ignore the fact that it's been 7 months, okay? just ignore that. ignore it! it's funky, it's fresh, and it's me, back on my taz bullshit. this chapter was not beta read, so apologies in advance.

“So, are you going to tell Miss Lup that you’re dating Mr. Kravitz? I bet she’d be really happy,” Angus says, giving Taako that stupid smile with his head tilted to the side that absolutely means  _ I want to watch the exact interaction when your sister finds out you’re with the dude she wanted you to get with and revel in your pain and misery _ . 

He’s complicated for a ten-year-old, which is a shame because Taako isn’t built for complicated. 

“We’re not dating,” he mutters. “It’s more complicated than that.” 

(Re: not built for complicated.) 

Angus seems confused--which is fair, considering he’s ten--and asks, “What do you mean by that?” 

“I don’t--do you  _ really _ wanna hear about my love life, kid?” Taako laughs a bit, running a hand down his braid. 

He just shrugs, flicking through one of his new books. “I mean, yeah, kind of.” 

“I’m leaving out the inappropriate parts, for your sake and mine,” he mumbles, causing Angus’ eyes to widen. “That was a  _ joke _ , okay, there’s nothing  _ that _ inappropriate.”

“I’m telling Lup.” 

“Do  _ not _ ,” Taako insists, a little more venom in his voice than he initially intends, and Angus startles. “Sorry, Ango. I just.. my sister is awesome, yeah? I love her. If she finds out that I have any chance with this guy, bubbelah, my phone will break with all the times she calls me trying to ask about him.” 

Angus nods, thinking. “Why aren’t you dating?” 

“Kid, I don’t fuckin’ know. I don’t know. It’s weird, life is weird, and I would explain it to you if I understood it,” he says, a bit exasperated, “but I don’t understand it either.” 

“Huh.” Angus shuts his book. “Well, sir, I hope he makes you happy.” 

Taako sighs. “He really does.” 

It’s a few days after that conversation that Taako finally comes to a few realizations about Angus, namely that he should  _ probably _ be going to school, even if he is smarter than Taako and Maggie put together. He can’t exactly go to the same college that Taako goes to (right?) but at this point, it’s been a couple of months, and Ango’s essentially his son, so he should  _ probably _ figure something out for school. 

“Angus,” he asks one morning as he’s making breakfast--if heating up Pop-Tarts counts as making breakfast, “do you want to go to school?” 

“In general, sir? Or specifically today?” 

Taako rolls his eyes a bit at the honorific, but lets it slide--he’s really stopped caring at this point. “In general, I think. You’re smarter than me, bubbelah, but it’s probably good you, like, learn things.” 

“How long has he been living here, T? Why are you just now thinking about this?” Magnus yawns as he sits down next to Angus. 

“Because I figured he might want to go to school or something,” he mutters, not exactly willing to admit that Kravitz mentioned that it was a bit weird him and Angus had been able to stop by the bookstore at noon on a Monday. It  _ was _ a bit weird, now that Taako’s thinking about it, but he hadn’t considered at the time that kids go to school on Mondays. 

“I do want to go to school,” Angus says, but his voice is tinged with a caution that Taako understands a bit too well. “I really liked it, but I’m worried…” 

Magnus makes pointed eye contact with Taako before he stands up with a quick comment about how he’s meeting Julia for breakfast. They’re both quiet as he leaves, and then for a bit after, before Taako speaks up. “Ango, if you want to keep learning things and, yanno, being a kid and shit, we can figure that out, I’m sure.” 

“I don’t want to keep--” he cuts himself off, looking a bit scared. “I don’t want to keep being a kid if it means I have to go live with someone else.” 

“You won’t,” Taako says simply. “I’m not letting you go. I know someone--a friend of a friend--who I think is a tutor or something. I’ll ask her to help me out, figure some stuff out with my sister since she’s like, smart and shit.” He reaches over, ruffling Angus’ hair. “We’ll work it out. I care about you, kid, and I don’t want you to miss out on your childhood just ‘cause you’re stuck with me.”

“You’re really nice, Taako.” 

“Shut your goddamn mouth, Ango.” 

He does, in fact, have a friend of a friend who is a tutor. 

The problem is that it’s Sloane’s friend, and Sloane and Hurley want to hear about Kravitz, and since they know him, Taako can’t lie to them and say that nothing’s really happening because the damn traitor already told them that something’s happening. 

Namely, that they’re going on a date Wednesday because that’s when Lup and Barry are taking Angus out. 

Sloane and Hurley know that because Kravitz told them because he actually hates Taako and this whole date thing is an elaborate prank. Or maybe he just isn’t nearly as embarrassed to admit that he likes someone else. 

First one. Definitely the first one. 

-

**to: scary lesbian (10:34 AM)** yo sloane

**from: scary lesbian (10:35 AM)** yo taako

**from: scary lesbian (10:35 AM)** whaddya need

**to: scary lesbian (10:37 AM)** your friend noelle

**to: scary lesbian (10:38 AM)** the one with the red hair 

**to: scary lesbian (10:40 AM)** she’s a tutor, right?

**from: scary lesbian (10:41 AM)** yeah? 

**from: scary lesbian (10:41 AM)** for like, kids though 

**to: scary lesbian (10:42 AM)** yeah 

**to: scary lesbian (10:43 AM)** this might be easier to explain over the phone

-

“You’re on speakerphone. Hurley’s here too,” Sloane says, and Taako can  _ hear _ her arms crossing. “What’s going on?” 

“So, I have a kid now,” he starts, causing the two girls on the other side of the phone to lapse into stunned silence. 

Hurley is the first to speak up. “I thought you were dating Kravitz?”

“I need you two to give me a few minutes to explain myself and then we can deal with that,” Taako responds with a sigh. “I found a child. Now he’s mine. He’s been living with me for--Ango, how long have you been here for?” he calls, and Angus shouts back that it’s been around two months. “He’s been here for two months.” 

“Holy fucking shit.” Sloane laughs. “Of all the people, Taako, I would have never expected--” 

“I know,” he interrupts, “but he’s the reason I need to talk to Noelle.” 

They’re both quiet for a second, thinking. “I can give you her number,” Hurley says, “but we  _ have _ to talk about Kravitz. Consider it a gift in return.” 

“Actually, doesn’t your sister’s boyfriend do tutoring?” Sloane mentions, though Taako can hear the shit-eating grin in her voice. “He knows Noelle through it, I’m certain of it.” 

“He does, but--” Taako grits his teeth. Barry is, of course, a huge fucking nerd, and would be more than happy to help Ango out, but he doesn’t want to admit to him (and by extension, Lup) that he needs help with Angus--that he’s thinking about the future when it comes to the kid. There’s a part of him that still wants to believe that Angus can find a happy home without Taako, and acknowledging to Lup and Barry--to  _ himself _ \--that he needs to figure out something like school is hard. He wants Angus to have a good childhood, and he’s not sure that he can give it to him, as much as Taako wants to. 

Hell, he’s never gonna be able to let this kid go. He just wants to make sure that Angus is happy.

“But what?” she challenges, unaware that she’s struck a nerve. 

“But... nothing,” he says, backing down. “You’re right. I should ask Barry before I ask Noelle.” 

Sloane mumbles something to Hurley that Taako can’t quite make out. “I can still give you her number, but I think you should talk to him first.”

“Now for the fun part. I heard you had a date on Wednesday?” Hurley asks innocently. 

“And there’s no point in denying it, since he already told us,” Sloane chimes in. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Taako mutters, and out of the corner of his eye he catches Angus trying to pretend like he isn’t listening. “Bubbelah, I can see you trying to listen to my conversation, and eavesdropping is only cool when you don’t get caught, mkay?” 

Angus goes bright red and looks away while Taako just laughs. “I’m gonna go to my room so the kid doesn’t listen in, gimme a sec.” 

Hurley is kind enough to wait until she hears the door shut to ask, “So, I heard you ran into him at the bookstore.” 

“Yeah, I was letting the kid pick some stuff out. I feel mildly betrayed that he told you all this, and I expect you to pass that along,” he says, but there’s no malice in his voice. 

Sloane snorts. “I’ll make sure to file that complaint. Come on, tell us what’s going on! Do you like him?” 

“Course I like him, I’m going on a date with him, aren’t I?” Taako responds, trying to keep his voice low. “I mean, he’s absolutely amazing. A total fucking dork, but amazing nonetheless. I didn’t know that someone was  _ allowed _ to be that hot and that nice at the same time.

“It’s just crazy ‘cause it’s been so fuckin’ long since I’ve had a real relationship, a good one, and hachi machi, the perfect man just gets shoved into my life…” he trails off with a sigh, suddenly regretting this phone call. “Why am I telling you guys this?” 

Sloane laughs. “‘Cause Taako’s got a crush.”

“Alright, I’m hanging up now.” 

“Love you!” Hurley calls as he clicks the ‘end call’ button. 

Taako sighs, throwing his phone next to him on the bed. “Ango, are you listening at the door?” 

There’s silence from the other side of Taako’s bedroom door, following by a quiet shuffling sound that he assumes is Angus totally not moving away from the door. 

“Ango.” 

“No, I’m not!” he yells from the living room, which he has been in the whole time and did not move to when Taako asked him, no sir. 

“Yeah, okay, I totally believe you!” he yells back, rolling his eyes as he opens the door. “How much were you listening to?” 

Ango blinks up at him innocently. “I didn’t listen to any of it.” 

“For the smartest kid in the universe, you’re a pretty bad fuckin’ liar.” Taako flops down onto the couch next to him with a loud sigh. “You know, Lup’s boyfriend is a tutor.” 

“Yeah?” Angus says, looking up from his book. 

He glances over to the kid, who looks so hopeful that a terrifying feeling of doubt washes over Taako and settles around him like a heavy fog. “Um…” 

He suddenly doesn’t know what to say. The next step is to suggest to Angus that Barry might be a suitable replacement for school--at least in the meantime--but it’s hard to acknowledge that. Not because he doesn’t want Angus to stay, he fucking loves the kid or something lame like that, but because Taako doesn’t want Angus to end up like him and he doesn’t know if an elf that definitely needs therapy and barely has the financial means to support a child is the right person to make sure he doesn’t end up as fucked up as Taako. 

But he wants to try. 

“I was thinking,” he starts carefully, “that he would probably be able to help you keep learning while we figure out school for you. Since he’s such a fuckin’ nerd and all.” 

“You… figure out school?” Angus asks. 

Taako shrugs, looking away. “If you’re really going to stay here, we have to get you to school somehow. I think I have to legally adopt you to be able to register you--what the fuck am I saying?” 

Angus’s eyes are wide, but he’s smiling from ear to ear. “Adopt me?” 

“You heard nothing, bubbelah. Do you want me to talk to Barry?” 

“Yes, please!” he says, and the excitement in Angus’ voice causes a smile to edge onto Taako’s face. “That sounds amazing, thank you so much!” 

Angus throws his arms around Taako, who’s startled for a second, then sighs and hugs the kid back. “Don’t get used to it,” he mutters, even though he already might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whatever the socials are that have been promoted in this fic are probably wrong, so uhhh. tumblr is @maple-keenes, twitter and tiktok are @maplekeenes, and you can just like. comment on this fic and tell me how cool i am and how much you didn't expect this to update. 
> 
> lichen commerce and scribble baybee

**Author's Note:**

> lichen, commerce, and scribble! i hope you guys enjoyed this, please let me know if you did. i thrive on comments and kudos!
> 
> if you wanna chat with me, hit me up on tumblr [@maple-keenes] or twitter [@maplekeenes]! i'd love to yell about my various hyperfixations with y'all. 
> 
> have a good day/night!


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